A Second Glance at Life
by E.L. Austen
Summary: "Thoughts of regret filled her mind as she sat in a chair near his bedside, running her fingers across the forearm of his seemingly lifeless body." A young women navigates her way through the war's devastation by recalling past memories of a lost love.
1. Chapter 1

A Second Glance at Life

Chapter 1: The beginning

Thoughts of regret filled her mind as she sat in a chair near his bedside, running her fingers across the forearm of his seemingly lifeless body. The scars around his face and hands marred his once angelic features, painting angry purple streaks across the youthful smile she remembered from years past. Many a patient had come through those doors; victims of the senseless war raging outside. With each, she hardened her heart and performed the necessary tasks set before her. Many were healed and sent on their way; some were not. This was different. He was different.

Arabella McBraiden was no stranger to the violence and devastation war gifted its loyal participants. From a young age she was told her rare and special gifts were meant for healing; for good. Never raise your hand in anger. Keep your head down always. No one need ever realize the extent of your gifts. The old man had been insistent she follow his dictates to the letter; had cautioned her at every turn. Deep down she knew he was right; knew that if the other side ever found out, the results would be disastrous. Still, the thought that she could have been out there, could have done something to prevent this, ate away at her once flawless reasoning.

His breathing was shallow and uneven, yet when she placed her hand on his chest she could feel the rise and fall of his laboring. He wouldn't die. Hours upon hours had passed as she worked tirelessly to save him. Failure was not an option this time. She could not stand to lose him. Sitting in the old wooden chair, watching the outcome of her efforts, she was reminded of a time long before; a time when the young man whose hand now rested within her own had saved her. How could she not return the favor? Saved, by prince charming himself; at the age of twelve Arabella McBraiden knew the fates had played a hand in what would certainly become an event to remember for a lifetime. Bill Weasley had come to her rescue and forever cemented his place in her heart.

_**9 years before:**_

_She let out a deep breath as her shaking hand took hold of the door handle to potions lab number five: Advanced Potions theory._

_The old man had been the final nail in the coffin that would entomb what was left of her anonymity at Hogwarts. Professor Snape had been insistent that she be placed in a lab that would "Invigorate and challenge her already profound abilities"; And the old man had agreed. She would never live this down. Nowhere in the history of Hogwarts was there a record of a twelve year old in advanced potions theory._

_It wasn't enough that she was the Slytherin daughter of Edward McBraiden, Head of the Auror Department and only outspoken Slytherin against the forces of Voldemort. She wasn't exactly liked among her fellow housemates. Her brother wasn't much help either. Damian ruled the house as the fifth year Slytherin quidditch captain and spent much of his time making the rest of them forget where his allegiance truly fell. This of course kept him much too busy to notice his baby sister._

_Life would only become worse for her now, and at the age of twelve there was nothing worse than being pulled from her protective fortress of solitude and made to stand at the center of everyone's attention. The class would be filled with sixth and seventh years, and they would look at her like she was some sort of anomaly to be mocked._

_The door handle slowly gave way as she attempted to gather all her courage in anticipation of her fate. As her head gradually rose to take in the scene presented, her eyes fell upon warm amber ones attached to a slightly turned up nose and a beaming, ear-reaching smile. His crimson hair fell about his shoulders in a haphazard fashion and freckles lay scattered across his face as if they were placed there in a hurry. He motioned towards the empty seat by his side and with great caution she made her way to the offered stool. _

"_My names Bill" He held out his hand by way of greeting. She took it with slight hesitation and mumbled "Arabella" in her thick Scottish brogue. _

"_The Headmaster told me you'd be here." He offered. "What do ya say Bells, be my lab partner?"_

_She couldn't believe her luck. Here he was, the Adonis of the school, taking her hand and asking her to partner with him for the class. No moment, for the rest of her life, could surpass this moment .He called her Bells. No one had ever called her anything except Arabella before... she secretly loved it. She'd walked into the classroom expecting the world to come crashing down around her; had actually cried to Mother that life as she knew it would be over. Everyone loved Bill Weasley. How could you not? He was the smartest, handsomest boy in school and he knew who she was; had spoken to her as though they were friends. Bill Weasley had saved her._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: From Egypt With Love

**Present Day:**

The sudden chiming of the nearby wall clock brought her back to the present as she looked down to assess her patient. His pale face held little promise of recovery; his freckles all but erased completely. She couldn't remember the last time she saw daylight. Every waking moment had been spent here, in this room, watching and waiting. While the war raged on outside, Arabella sat, eyes closed and head down as her mind drifted off to better times.

Seven years had passed since she seen his face; been close enough to take his hand in her own. One might think, after all these years, the 'silly' schoolgirl fancy as Mother had called it would be all but forgotten. Though the years had come and gone, her feelings for him had remained. They had influenced many of her decisions throughout her impressionable Hogwarts years.

She had healed Charlie Weasley's broken arm when he hadn't wanted Madam Pomfrey to know he was out flying past curfew. Loathe as she was to admit it; she had advised the Weasley twins in the art of potions for their, sometimes rather ill-conceived pranks. If anyone asks though, her assistance was given in order to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the rest of the student body. Should one of their experiments go array, she was most certain it would come back to her in some way. Thanks to her goodwill towards the Weasley offspring, she was gifted with her one last encounter with Bill Weasley at Charlie's graduation from Hogwarts.

**Seven Years Before:**

_As she sat, sandwiched between Mother and Father, watching both Charlie Weasley and her brother Damian as they accepted congratulations from the headmaster on their commencement from Hogwarts, she couldn't help but let her eyes wander. Somewhere in the Great Hall sat Bill Weasley, and that thought alone made her heart beat faster. No longer was she the scrawny twelve-year-old girl afraid of being noticed. At the age of fourteen, he would have to be aware of how much she'd grown. He would most definitely see her as a young woman now._

_ While attempting to distance herself from her parents and the watchful eyes of her older sister Adrianna, she was caught by surprise when an arm was thrown round her shoulder from behind and a kiss was pressed to her temple._

_ "If it isn't my favorite lab partner…how are ya Bells?" She had never been this close to him in the year that they spent together, and the thought that he had kissed her was the only thing going through her mind at the moment._

_ "I barely recognized ya… bet you can't turn the lads away fast enough." The heat rising to her cheeks was beyond mortifying and it suddenly occurred to her she hadn't spoken a word yet._

_ "I'm very well Bill. Thank you for asking" She tried to sound as grown up as possible. It wasn't easy given the fact that she was almost certain you could hear her heart beating through her chest._

_ " I wanted to thank you for the herbs you sent from Egypt. I've already been researching ways to use them… I hope you are enjoying your time as a curse breaker... it sounded quite dangerous from your letters." There, she thought to herself. That sounded much better._

_ "Not nearly as dangerous as some of the potions I know you're brewing behind old Snape's back, eh Bells?" He chuckled as he pulled her closer to his side._

**Present Day:**

_She couldn't help but smile as she thought about the letters they had sent over the years. There must be hundreds of them; all packed away in a trunk by her bedside. She'd been amazed when the first one had come to McBraiden Castle the summer after he graduated. He wrote to her about his plans to work with curses and how he thought he had a good chance at an internship with Gringotts. He told her that he would try his best to keep in touch. _

_She'd mistakenly confided in her older sister about the letter and her hope that someday he would share her feelings. Adrianna had thought the notion absurd and doubted another letter would ever come. After that ordeal she'd learned to keep her feelings to herself, as well as the letters._

_Her favorite letters always included pictures. Sometimes they were pictures of the landscape; a rising sun peaking over the mounds of sand casting the allusion of water dancing on the desert floor. Other pictures, the best pictures, were ones of him smiling in front of some unnamed statue or pyramid. His smile was infectious even from Egypt, and she took great pride in tucking each photo away in the pocket of her Hogwarts uniform as a silent reminder of her secret crush._

_ Once again she pressed her hand to his cheek feeling his breath, slow and uneven, ghost across her palm as she made to trace her fingers down the length of his jaw line. She felt guilty for enjoying the intimate moment. While she relished her time alone with him, she knew the ache his mother must be feeling having been confined to the boundaries of the infirmary waiting room. There were too many wounded littering the makeshift cots that had been placed in the infirmary in order to accommodate the growing number of injuries._

_She'd watched from behind a curtained bedside as Madam Pomfrey spoke with Bill's parents; telling them that he would live but they would not be able to see him until he was stable enough to move from the confines of the hospital. Molly Weasley had first cried in relief and then begged Poppy for the opportunity to see her son. Rules were rules and the nurse would not back down. Arabella Looked around the quiet room and guessed that night had finally come to Hogwarts. Madam Pomfrey had long since retired and she was the only one still awake it seemed. As she rose and made her way towards the waiting room, she was carful to not disturb the slumbering patients nearby. Arabella found Molly Weasley asleep in a hard backed chair near the infirmary entrance; her husband already gone to bed. Carefully she roused the sleeping women, and with a finger placed to her lips as a sign of silence she lead the way towards her sleeping son._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Secrets From the Grave

Present Day

Days creaked by as some sense of normalcy passed through the castle. Nothing would ever really be normal. The war was still raging in the background and the old man was gone. Dumbledore met his end at the hands of Severus Snape.

Though she never really got on well with the Headmaster, she would admit to feeling a sense of loss from his death. He took with him a secret that she kept from the wizarding world; including her Mother and Father. From the moment she entered Hogwarts at the tender age of eleven, the old man kept his eye on her with a knowing look she would come to hate in later years.

The offspring of Edward and Isadora McBraiden were truly gifted in their own fields. Their eldest Daughter, Adriana, a runes expert, spent her days as an Unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries. Their only son, Damian, captained the Falmouth Falcons and was known as one of the leagues premiere Keepers. Arabella was the youngest. A quiet child; she spent most of her days before Hogwarts encamped in the massive library of her family's estate.

Her parents believed her a bookish child. She rarely spoke, never misbehaved, and mostly kept to herself. They never once considered the possibility that their youngest could be hiding something. When she came of age, her father began her lessons as he did with each of his children.

It was common knowledge among traditional pureblood families that the Witches and Wizards of ancient times harnessed their powers on their own. There was never any use for silly wand waving. Wands were created in order to contain your powers and focus them. The older pureblood families, of which there were very few remaining on the continent, still believed in passing down this particular tradition; the McBraiden clan included.

To draw upon magic without the aid of a wand and bend it to your will, the wielder must devote complete concentration and a level of focus that carries throughout their entire being.

10 Years Before:

_She hadn't meant to cause trouble. The explosion came out of nowhere and before she knew it footsteps could be heard racing down the hall. She could make out the tall figure of the Headmaster rounding the corner, eyes filled with alarm. _

_Arabella knew in an instant she'd been caught. The look he sent her left nothing to interpretation. It was judgmental and accusatory. The old man knew and no amount of occlumency could keep him from the truth._

_Perhaps he would expel her. What sort of punishment does one receive for blowing up the fourth floor girl's lavatory? As thoughts of dishonor and family embarrassment ran their course, a quiet voice broke through the chaos. _

"_Follow me Ms. McBraiden" and with that, the old man turned on his heel and began the trek back down the corridor, presumably towards his office where Arabella would most likely meet her fate._

_The old man navigated his way through the dark corridors, a reluctant Arabella trailing behind. Up a winding staircase he led her until they stood side by side facing a massive stone griffin. Though she couldn't quite make it out, she swore he muttered something about Wine Gummies… whatever that was. With a grand whoosh, the griffin slid back to reveal the Headmaster's office; the very last place she wished to be._

_The old man sat at his large stone desk, his eyes focused on her forlorn expression. After what felt like an eternity he let out a sigh and began to speak. "Ms McBraiden, Do you know why you are here?" With eyes downcast she quietly formed her answer. _

"_I assume Headmaster, it has something to do with the girls lavatory." Good she thought. Don't outright admit fault. Maybe she could make it through this relatively unscathed. "If you are referring to the rather large hole you've created where the girl's lavatory used to be, then your assumption would be correct." _

_Well that was it. She'd made it less than 3 months at Hogwarts before getting expelled. What was her Father going to say? She sat there with her head down, trying her best to look contrite while she contemplated whether or not she could make it at a school like Beauxbaton. "Ms. McBraiden, how exactly did there come to be a hole in the wall of the girl's lavatory, if you don't mind me asking?"_

_Arabella squirmed in her seat as she finally raised her head to speak. "I'm not entirely sure Headmaster. I slipped in a puddle of; I hope water, and raised my hands to catch myself. Next thing I knew... well...ya already know!" _

"_I see. Do these... ahem... events happen often Ms. McBraiden" The old man actually looked unsettled. For a minute Arabella contemplated whether or not she should tell him the truth. She figured it probably wasn't a good idea to try and pull the wool over on someone like Headmaster Dumbledore. She couldn't see it going all that well._

"_I suppose you could say that Sir. I Certainly didn't mean for it to happen...lost my concentration is all." Arabella took a deep breath and tried to look as sincere as possible. "It wont happen again Sir. I Promise." _

_The headmaster gave her a knowing look, placing a hand on his chin as if contemplating his next course of action. Arabella once again let her head drop as she waited. She knew what he would say next. She'd be on the next train out of here. 'Pack your bags Ms McBraiden' that's what he would say._

"_I think, perhaps this should stay between the two of us Ms. McBraiden." Her head suddenly snapped up as she looked at the Headmaster in disbelief. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? "From now on you will meet with me once a week and I will teach you how Not to lose control." Arabella simply nodded. What else could she do? She felt as though she'd been granted a reprieve of some sort; didn't even care that she'd be stuck with the old man once a week for who knew how long._

_Hesitantly she rose from her chair and made for the door. "Ms McBraiden, Do remember what I told you." His face seemed stern now. "This stays between the two of us." She nodded hurriedly and left, running down staircase, trying to put as much distance between herself and the old man as possible. _

Present Day

And so it became, their secret. The weekly sessions were spent relieving bottled up tensions and focusing on ways to better control her abilities. Control them she did, up until four days prior when she single handedly destroyed a potions lab in a matter of seconds.

Hours she'd spent, tirelessly working, attempting to piece him back together. She'd tried desperately to hold on to whatever sanity remained, focused all her energy on keeping control of herself long enough to save him. When it was over; when she knew he would make it, she left her charge in the capable hands of Madam Pomfrey and made her way down to the dungeons.

She couldn't honestly tell you what happened. One moment she was racing towards an abandoned lab and the next she was surrounded by destruction. All around her pieces of table tops and wooden tools were strewn across the floor. Nothing in the room had escaped her wrath.

When McGonagall finally made her way to the dungeons, she found Arabella sat in the middle of the floor amidst the debris, tears streaming down her face. She'd never felt so alone; so vulnerable. Her potions master was a traitor, Bill had almost died, and the old man was gone... Dumbledore was gone.


End file.
